Badges, Ranked

"hethoughtofcars" (hethoughtofcars) 01/30/2014 at 15:10 • Filed to: oppositelock, badging, vw, bmw, camry, hoveround

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Interior of Car Behind Them on Freeway:

Father: Look kids! It's a (squinting) Tide-cel
Daughter: (Rolls eyes) I think that's a Passat dad.
Father: Oh yeah! I know that one ! !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Son: I think TDI means it's a diesel
Father: A diesel?!? Like a semi?
Son: (Goes back to Nintendo DS) Yeah, something like that.
Mother: Ooh and it's an SEL! I bet that means they got the package with a radio aux input and a driver power seat!
Father: Nice! What's that say? 'Vic ...Bailey ...Automotive ...Specialists'. I've never heard of them before, sweet. (Turns to wife) Should we?
Mother: (Nods reassuringly)
Father: Kids?
Kids: (Nods)
EVERYONE IN CAR AT ONCE: Screw Grandma's house! We're going to Vic Bailey Automotive Specialists!

This is not a transcript of an actual ad, thankfully, but I think this is what Volkswagen (and their dealers) are hoping will happen. It's time to take our cars back people. If they are going to be rolling adverts we should at least get paid for them. For the record, I advocate removing all badges, but I'll rank them here (from most acceptable to least) starting with:

4) The Model Name "PASSAT"

This one makes the most sense, I suppose. Manufacturers want people to know which model car they have. Maybe even get some name recognition. But big companies want lots of things and we shouldn't have to keep their trademarks on our cars just because. Name recognition, maybe....but I'd say it mostly comes in the style of 'That idiot in a Passat just cut me off! What a jackass!'

3) The Type of Engine "TDI"

This is where things started getting seriously irritating. In VW's case, only car people know what TDI means, much less even stands for. Other automakers are just as bad though, you think the average Camry driver knows (or cares) what 3.2L means? Can decode 535xi (Even BMW people don't really know what it means anymore!)? Even a basic "V6" badge is pointless. Yes, congratulations Accord driver in front of me in stop-and-go traffic....you are using more fuel sitting here with your 6 cylinder running.

2) The Trim Level "SEL"

Whoever came up with this one deserves a special place in hell as they say. Why on Earth would anyone care what option package you got with your Fiesta? Oh you got seats partially covered in leather and voice recognition? Let's just make sure everyone can tell that. GL! GLX! S! DX! EX! EX-L! SE! SEL! I believe "LE" is supposed to stand for "limited edition" according to some manufacturers. Yeah. That is about as funny as when on the HoveRound commercials they say they'll through in this SPECIAL, LIMITED EDITION CUP for your built-in cupholder as if it would someday be worth something and everyone else who orders one doesn't get a cup too.

1) The Dealer "VIC BAILEY AUTOMOTIVE SPECIALISTS"

Trim levels are awful, but for worst of the worst you have to give it to the dealers. I hate even driving with a license plate holder with a dealer's name on it. I immediately take it off the second I get home. Did you know I once bought a used Scion from a BMW dealer? So I got to drive home advertising my used Scion as coming from KUNI BMW. I'm sure everyone behind me was extremely impressed. The first thing I do when I get home is take those off and toss them. Even if I don't have a replacement I'd rather drive around with no plate "framer" than a dealer one.

Alas, pretty much every dealer does that though. The absolute worst is when they try to badge your car so it can forever be a rolling advertisement for their dealership. My girlfriend's 2001 Camry came from a dealer in Crystal Lake, IL. It is missing three hubcaps and is pretty scratched up (it's been rear ended twice, and she has just kept the insurance money instead of replacing the bumper). She never washes it. I have to take it to get the oil changed because she'd never do it. Yet, wherever she drives, over 2000 miles away in Portland, Oregon, people will know just what Toyota dealer it came from. Brilliant.

Oh, and guess what? It's an LE edition.

For Sweden > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 15:14

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You forgot the most awesome badges*

*not technically badges

Desu-San-Desu > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 15:19

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I dunno about you, but I'm pretty friggin' proud of my badges.

And my stickers.

'Wägen, EPA LOL > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 15:21

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I like to rank them in the order in the order I'd take them. Worst to Less Worse...

1. Dealer Stickers/Badges - if you put these on the car, I will not buy it. Go do your own advertising.

2. Trim Level - I'm with you on these. No one cares about your options package. Super useless.

3. Model Name - If you don't know what it is - I don't particularly think you should find out from my car.

4. Special Engine Badge - I'm giving the TDI a pass because I like to brag I burn oil. A V6 badge on a camry does not get a pass. A V12 badge gets a pass.

5. Manufacturer Badge - Way too difficult to remove and still look good (in most cases). Usually pretty unobtrusive. Alignment holes were awful when they existed and sometimes they still do. Eff it - I'll usually keep this one. Also this is where VW hides their backup camera.

TL;DR: I agree.

oldirtybootz > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 15:23

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I shaved my Focus's trunk, but I'll leave the badges on my Dart.

desertdog5051 > 'Wägen, EPA LOL 01/30/2014 at 15:39

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Agree with the stupid name decals they put on every car. I bought an S-10, used, from a Chevy dealer. I told them they had a deal as long as they removed their name from the tailgate. They tried to tell me it was permanent. I started to walk and guess what? It did come off after all.

hethoughtofcars > 'Wägen, EPA LOL 01/30/2014 at 15:41

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The thing with engine figures is that anyone can put anything there. Especially, say, an M3 badge after they've removed the 318i.

Yeah, the manufacturer's badge is a tough one. I think it's probably ok. The worst is when someone swaps it out. No your BMW does not look better with a "Carbon Fiber-look" logo. And this sin is so massive as to be unforgiveable:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Textured Soy Protein > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 15:45

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I always liked the GS-R badge on my old '92 Integra GS-R.

hethoughtofcars > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2014 at 16:05

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Yes, but especially with Integras, it's hard to trust because anyone can put that badge there. They are even more likely to stick a "Type R" on it even though it is a base model with a four speed automatic.

Textured Soy Protein > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 16:23

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True, but...

Only the '92-'93 GSR actually came with that badge. The '94-'01 round-headlight GSR had this badge:

So if you see the GS- R badge on a round-headlight '94-'01 Integra, it's not legit.

Also, the GSR came out in '92 when the Integra got a facelift to this new front bumper:

This is the '90-'91 bumper:

And, the taillights actually got amber turn signals like this (the red car I posted above has been switched to '90-'91 taillights with white turn signals which is very common for the '92-'93 cars to do):

While the '90-'93 Integra had black moldings on the bumpers and doors, the moldings on the '92-'93 GSR are body color (not that non-GSRs couldn't have been painted at some point). The GSR only came in black, white, red or teal.

So if you see the GS-R badge on a black/white/red/teal car with the '92-'93 bumper, painted moldings (and amber rear turn signals), there's a decent chance it's actually a GSR.

'Wägen, EPA LOL > hethoughtofcars 01/30/2014 at 16:26

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Hey... That's no Bentley...

I agree with you on swapping out and misbadging. There is no excuse. Love your car for what it is and/or strip it naked. Don't lie to everyone - you'll just embarrass yourself later.

'Wägen, EPA LOL > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2014 at 16:30

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Good friend of mine has one of these (his car not pictured):

Definitely a powerhouse of a vehicle. I have much love for that car. It's a blast to drive.

hethoughtofcars > desertdog5051 01/30/2014 at 16:54

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You are my hero.

Dunnik > hethoughtofcars 04/04/2014 at 20:01

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One of the greatest mysteries of the 1980's is what the hell XR4Ti meant.

hethoughtofcars > Dunnik 04/04/2014 at 20:05

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One of the greatest mysteries of the future is X1 sDrive28i..